At this year’s library book sale, I found a copy of the book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.” I’d heard of the book before, and at the super sale price picked it up.
I’m a buyer/reader beware of self-help books… people close to me know I can find them addictive. But they’re often a way to obtain useful information you may not have thought of or learned before. I was pleasantly pleased to find some useful wisdom in Gary Chapman’s book.
As the holiday and gift-giving season is upon us, the book reminded me of the importance of really knowing what the people you love want. In other words, what is their love language?
I’ve always wanted (or so I’ve said) to learn a foreign language. As I’ve gotten older, it’s seemed more elusive. But speaking someone else’s love language can be as elusive! And just like learning Spanish or German, it takes practice.
Every year amongst my family, friends and therapy clients, I hear of people who are unhappy with their gifts… and relationships. I also hear people say, “Give what you’d like to receive.”
I must say I agree with “Give what you like to receive.” And I’ll add, “Give it to yourself!” But when it comes to others, give after learning their love language.
According to the book, Gary Chapman identifies five love languages. They are:
1) Words of affirmation,
2) Quality time,
3) Receiving gifts,
4) Acts of service, and
5) Physical touch.
Check his website for more info:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
It’s pretty clear what each ‘language’ means. The goal is to explore what affirms, refreshes, encourages and connects with those you love. You can observe what they respond to or even ask. With a little reflection, you can probably easily figure it out.
Knowing someone’s love language, as well as your own, can save hurt feelings, returns, wasted money and time and even relationships. Learning to speak love languages can make your holidays and special days more peaceful and joyful. That’s a gift everyone will enjoy! Adios!
